Over this past summer one word has captured my heart. It has become a buzzword that my ears have been open to. This word would come up in every conversation I had. This word became heavy on my heart. So heavy, that I had to stop and ponder the meaning of this word and how the Lord was using it my life. The word is EXPECTATIONS and this is what I discovered.
We all have expectations of how we believe something should turn out. We plan in our hearts how we "expect" God or others to respond based on our behavior. This is mostly on a subconscious level but I believe we all fall prey to this temptation. Let me explain a little and begin with our expectations of people. We plan in our mind and hearts how we believe a person will or should behave after we have done a specific act for them. When this person does not respond as what we think and planned, we can become disappointed with them or with our self. We have a preconceived mindset of how this should play out and when it takes on a different direction disappointment sets in and over time we can become disillusioned. This happens with people but it happens with God as well.
We are loving God, serving Him, being obedient, paying our tithe, teaching His people, living in the center of His will, so all this means our life should be a life of safety, luxury, and ease- right! This is the expectation that our hearts (my heart) began to grab a hold of. When this expectation does not play out as we have it set up in our minds...disappointment and disillusions can come into play and a dark cloud of confusion begins to hang over our head.
I found myself here last week- in a desperate situation of confusion. I know spiritual confusion is usually an act of disobedience. The problem was I was blind to the area of disobedience in my life. But God in all His grace and mercy continued to bring this one word home to me. There were other words as well that began to prick my heart - sacrifice and thankfulness. The prosperity gospel had begun to seep its way in to my thinking. We may stay away from the blatant, "Name it and Claim it" but the underlining theme is what my heart desired to grab a hold of.
As I pondered these words and attempted to put the puzzle pieces together, God reminded me of one word that was missing – repentance. I had a heart attitude that needed to be changed. He reminded me of the many people throughout the bible whom were in the center of God’s will and their lives were NEVER a life of luxury, safety, and ease. Look at the live of David, Paul, Moses, etc. These men were in the center of God’s will, used mightily for Him, and yet their lives were full of blessings, struggles, and heartache. God brought this home with me and applied the missing word repentance through a book called, “The Tale of Three Kings” by Gene Edwards. This is a book on brokenness with the life of David, Saul, and Absalom.
Words are important; listen closely. Be obedient to God for the one purpose of loving Him, laying all expectation down. He has given me eternal life, which is an opportunity to KNOW Him. That is enough for me and I hope it is for you as well.